Two Years

I was just going through my email inbox, trying to delete all my junk mail. I came across this one email from Justin, from over two years ago, when he was updating all our friends and family about Moriah (it was before we set up the blog).
Moriah just turned 1 month old.

My heart hurts a little to read this. I remember all the emotions that accompanied this time, finding out about Moriah having CHARGE syndrome. I thought that the open heart surgery was painful enough...but then to learn that your child could possibly be blind, hearing impaired, delayed, and so on and so on. We didn't know what to expect and our world was spinning.

We clung to God...but mostly, we felt God carrying us when we couldn't go on anymore.

Feb. 24, 2008
Hello everybody,
Victoria and I just wanted to let you all know what's been going on today and this past week. This afternoon, Moriah had 2 seizures where her heart rate and oxygen levels dropped drastically. We still don't know how it happened, but we should know more by tomorrow. Right now she is stable. They've given her some anti-seizure medication and is sleeping comfortably.

We also found out this past week that she has C.H.A.R.G.E. syndrome. It's a compilation of complications that she has. Essentially, we got information that she might have issues with blindness, deafness, growth and her kidneys. She also has something on her lungs that the doctors are unsure of. We were told it could potentially be tumors, but they aren't sure yet.

Obviously, this has been a heavy week. We don't know how things are going to turn out. But we do know that Jesus is in control. Victoria and I were talking towards the end of the day, reflecting on how things have been going. It's crazy, but through all the tears and fatigue, Jesus has been filling us with a peace and joy that is beyond our understanding. I've been reading Matthew this week, and I've been chewing on these verses:

"And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."-Matthew 10:30-31

When I read this, I thought about Moriah, and how God knows every little bit about her. There is nothing He doesn't know, and I can't tell you how much His sovereignty has meant to us. Not one hair will fall unless He lets it. We've come to a point where we just don't know how this is going to turn out, and to be honest, it isn't our place. Jesus has been so real and loud and present that we know that whatever He chooses, it'll be alright because He loves us. It's just so cool because we can't help but feel that God is pursuing us, not letting us quit, and giving us the joy of being intimate with Him. Not because we are doing anything, but rather He is just straight up good and awesome, and His love is so thick we can't get away from it. We love Him...Dude, what a rad God we serve!

We have come out of these past two years so much more humbled, so much more blessed than we could have ever imagined, and so much more intimate with God. Through the pain, heartache, fatigue, and beat-up knees have come some of the deepest, richest, most intimate feelings we have ever had in our lives...including learning one of the most important lessons in life: learning how to live life the way God has intended for us to live.

Plus, God has given that girl a lot of unruly, wild hair, and He still knows how many are on her head...He's gotta know what He's doing =)

Thank you all for your love and support during these past two years. We know this has been a long and tiring journey for all of you too, but the way you have loved and continue to love on Moriah...it is beyond words.
Thank you from the bottom of this mama's heart <3